Is Riverdale OK? I’m asking because it’s been really different the past few months. Nothing’s wrong, per se, I’m just wondering wherefore came the dramatic tonal shifts, or the characters acting like they woke up not knowing who they are, or that time it had a teenager do a striptease to that song from Donnie Darko that makes it feel like it’s raining even when it’s not.
Let’s take a look at how the characters looked when the audience met them and just…compare them with how they’re doing now. As a matter of example.
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In the pilot: Sweet kid, not too bright. Biggest problem was wondering if he should go out for football or pursue music. Loved his dad, was very torn up over his parents’ divorce.
Now: Wrongfully arrested for murder. Founded a vigilante group of buff teen crime fighters. Spent most of the season yelling at his dad because he wanted to join the mafia. Barely played any football or played any music. Tossed a molotov cocktail off the roof of a diner.
In the pilot: Sad her dad is in prison for crimes of a financial nature.
Now: Sad her dad isn’t in prison for crimes of a violent nature. Owns a restaurant.
In the pilot: Girl next door. Overbearing mother affected her self-esteem. Innocent crush on childhood friend Archie Andrews. Worried about her sister.
Now: Convinced she is genetically predisposed to become a homicidal maniac. Accessory to murder. Briefly attempted to become a cam girl. Housed a murderous junkie for a while there.
In the pilot: Showed up for five seconds writing a book at a diner.
Now: King of the snakes, all hail the immortal snake king.
In the pilot: Head cheerleader in mourning. Mean girl trope. Clearly came from a spooky family where everyone talks weird.
Now: In a gang. Shot a guy with a bow and arrow. Recently covered herself in pig blood to threaten her mother into signing emancipation papers.
In the pilot: Teen diva with amazing hair. Seemed like she was going to be a main character with her Pussycat squad and plotlines of her own.
Now: Sings a song every seventh episode, haven’t seen the Pussycats in months.
In the pilot: Maybe the only genuinely nice person in Riverdale. Loves to hook up with Moose at bad times.
Now: Perfect, beautiful cinnamon roll. Still does the Moose thing.
Pilot: Small town with a few secrets. Everything is very retro and cute. Had a drive-in movie theater.
Now: Literally a war zone. Drive-in movie theater closed.